Just between you and me, you have to pick your pronouns carefully!
One of the most prevalent grammatical mistakes that the Grammar Guru battles (on a daily basis!) is the wrong choice of pronouns in phrases like “between you and I / me” or “my sister and I / me.” It really isn’t so very hard to get the right one, when you know the trick.
The trick is to say the phrase without the additional person and see what the real sentence is. For example: Which pronoun goes in the blank in each of the following sentences?
John and ___ went to the movies.
That book was shared by John and ____. (Don’t start shrieking about passive voice, it’s just an example!)
Obviously, you wouldn’t say “me went to the movies” unless you were raised in the jungle by apes, so the answer in the first blank is “I.” But you wouldn’t say “That book is owned by I,” so “me” goes in the second blank.
It has to do with the case of the pronoun in question. Remember case? That thing your English teacher sort of discussed — confusingly? The two cases that concern us in this post are the Subjective and the Objective.
The Subjective case serves as the subject of a sentence or clause. So when your phrase is the subject of a sentence, you must use the Nominative case: I, you, he, she, it, we, they. I know “John and they went to the movies” sounds goofy, but it’s correct! (If the sound of it bothers you, reconstruct the sentence: “They went with John to the movies” or “John went with them to the movies.”)
The Objective case serves as an object — of a verb, preposition, etc. So when your phrase is an object, you must use Objective case: me, you, him, her, it, us, them. Again, this can sometimes land you with goofy-sounding phrases, but they are grammatically correct.
Some additional examples to cement this idea in your head. All of the following are correct usage:
- Dad took my brother and me to the fair.
- My mom and I are great friends.
- Jim and Anne took them to Ciro’s.
- They and I went to The Mottled Oyster for cocktails.
- Just between you and me, that dress makes her look like a manatee. [Or say, “Just between us” and you won’t have to worry!]
- This is a secret between you and me.
- You and I are going to kidnap that child.
- He and they are being silly.
3 Comments
I’m glad you wrote this. Poor usage of pronouns is one of my pet peeves. “Between you and I” sets my teeth on edge! When a person uses whom instead of who because he/she THINKs it is correct I almost have a heart attack.
“Between you and I” bothers me almost as much as “could care less”.
hey neato… I just found this blog and have added it to my favorites. I have a high respect for the English language and I honor it by trying to use it properly. Thanks so much. I miss being told how to do things by grown-ups.