Keep Your Mitts Off My …
Mettle…Metal…Meddle…Medal? This is where poor pronunciation gets us … pure confusion. These four words are so often mispronounced (well, okay, pronounced sloppily) that their misuse in writing is almost as certain as death and taxes. So here’s the easy way to remember how to use them:
Metal (/meh-tuhl /) is a noun meaning a substance that is an electropositive element having a shiny surface and electrical and thermal conductivity, and which can be melted, fused, hammered into thin sheets, or drawn into wires. The common metals include: gold, silver, copper, iron, tin, lead, zinc, nickel, etc., and alloys such as brass, bronze, and steel.
Mettle (/ meh-tl /) is a noun meaning courage, fortitude, or strength of character.
Meddle (/ meh-dl /) is a verb meaning to interfere in the business of others without invitation.
Medal (/ meh-duhl /) is a noun indicating a piece of metal stamped or engraved with a design and used as commemorations or awards.
An example of correct usage:
This gold medal, made of the most precious metal, is awarded to one who has shown great mettle in this time of war. He did not meddle in areas beyond his expertise or ability, but instead applied his efforts to those areas in which he excelled; when captured, he did not reveal our secrets to the enemy, even when tortured. His splendid example of courage and fortitude has ensured our victory.
One place where confusion will remain is in talking about testing. You test the mettle of a person to see whether they will break under pressure or stand firm. You test the metal of a bumper, a sword, or a fence to ensure that it has no weak points.
Help Stamp Out Apostrophe Abuse!
Never use the apostrophe (that’s the little mark like this ‘ ) to make words plural. It’s wrong; it’s annoying, and it makes your writing look amateurish. The plural of apple is not apple’s—it’s apples!
When you see ‘s at the end of a word, you should automatically think one of two things: possession or something missing. Because that is generally what the apostrophe is for. It tells you that something is owned by something or someone else—-Is this the girl’s book?—-or it tells you that something is missing in the word—-That’s the man! (the letter I is missing from the words “that is,” which have been contracted into one word).
Note: In actuality, both examples indicate something missing, but we don’t really acknowledge the first. You see, possession is historically indicated by the phrase “of the” (so that we would have “That is the book of the girl.”) It’s easier, more efficient, and faster to drop “of the” and say ” ‘s” (so we have “That is the girl’s book.”) We’ve been doing this for so many centuries that most people don’t know that the most correct way to indicate possession is use of the phrase “of the.”
The apostrophe is never, never, NEVER used to make a word plural.*
To make a noun — any noun — plural, add -s to the end of the word. (boy, boys; bee, bees; Mr. Johnson, the Johnsons)
EXCEPT
- If the word ends in X, add -es to the end of the word. (fox, foxes)
- If the word has more than one syllable and ends in Y, change the Y to I and add -es to the word. (berry, berries)
- If the word ends in F, change the F to V and add -es. (elf, elves; hoof, hooves)
- There are some “irregular plurals” which you must simply memorize. I’ve included a few examples, but any good grammar reference will have an extensive listing.
- These keep the same form for both singular and plural: moose, fish, sheep
- These change form completely: mouse, mice; goose, geese; alumnus, alumni
- Many Latin-derived words use -a or -ae to form the plural: phenomenon, phenomena; datum, data; medium, media; alumna, alumnae
- Certain Latin-derived words ending in EX form the plural by changing the EX to IC and adding -es: index, indices; appendix, appendices; matrix, matrices; codex, codices
- There are yet other words which have more than one plural form, depending on the degree of plurality or the country in which your English is spoken:
- cow, cows (a few, up to a herd), cattle (a large number, bigger than a herd),
kine (a generally archaic plural still heard in Australia, Scotland, and Ireland) - pig, pigs (a few), swine (a large number, and this form is less-used in modern times)
- cow, cows (a few, up to a herd), cattle (a large number, bigger than a herd),
For proper nouns, the names of people or places, the rule is simple. Add -s or -es. To make it both plural and possessive, and -s’ or -es’.
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson love opera. The Johnsons love opera. The Johnsons’ names are in the programme.
Mr. and Mrs. Jones love opera. The Joneses love opera. The Joneses’ names are in the programme.
Mr. and Mrs. Mouse love opera. The Mouses love opera. The Mouses’ names are in the programme. (Note that we don’t change the Mouses’ name to “Mice.”)
Just remember: The apostrophe is never, never, NEVER used to make a word plural.*
* All right, well, there is one exception: if not using an apostrophe would cause confusion, such as when leaving the apostrophe out would create another word (“As” or “Is” would be confusing, so you may use “A’s” or “I’s”) then you may use the apostrophe to form plurals in these kinds of cases only.
And I Wondered: Is It All Right to Start My Sentence That Way?
An erudite reader has asked my opinion on the permissibility of beginning a sentence with a conjunction. This is an interesting case, as it’s one of the few times when I will tell you that your high school grammar teacher was wrong: It is not always wrong to start a sentence with and, but, or or. However, there is a very important caveat to be aware of if you intend to break this rule.
Beginning a sentence with a conjunction can be a useful way to spice up a paragraph; it can help to transition between two thoughts, and it’s useful in avoiding run-on sentences. But it should never, ever, be overused. [did you catch that?]
Here’s the low-down I found on another website. I’m reproducing it here because I couldn’t have said it better myself, and I love their example sentences.
Yes, you can begin a sentence with a coordinating conjunction!
Some teachers will tell you that beginning a sentence with a coordinating conjunction is wrong. Teachers will typically tell you this because they are trying to help you avoid writing fragments. Other times teachers give this advice because their preference is that a sentence not begin with a coordinating conjunction.
What you should remember is that you break no grammar rule if you begin a sentence with a coordinating conjunction. Because you might be breaking your instructors’ rules, however, you should ask what their preferences are.
If you decide to begin a sentence with a coordinating conjunction, keep these three things in mind:
- Be sure that a main clause follows the coordinating conjunction.
- Do not use a coordinating conjunction to begin every sentence. Use this option only when it makes the flow of your ideas more effective.
- Do not use a comma after the coordinating conjunction. Coordinating conjunctions are not transitional expressions like for example or first of all. You will rarely use punctuation after them.
Here are some examples:
While I was answering the telephone, Buster, my cat, jumped onto the kitchen counter and swatted all of my jalapeño-stuffed olives onto the floor. So I had to rinse off the cat hair and breadcrumbs sticking to these delicacies before I could add them to the salad.
Flying down the bumpy path, Genette hit a rock with the front wheel of her mountain bike, flew over the handlebars, and crashed into a clump of prickly palmetto bushes. Yet even this accident would not deter her from completing the race.
Only when an interrupter immediately follows the coordinating conjunction do you need to use commas. Read this example:
We hoped that decorating the top of Christine’s cupcake with a dead grasshopper would freak her out. But, to our amazement, she just popped the whole thing in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed.
—–
Hope that clears up the little fiction that grammar teachers everywhere seem intent on perpetrating on otherwise innocent and unsuspecting students.
Subject — Verb Agreement
It’s important, even in a casual writing forum like a blog. And as I have seen not one or two, but literally dozens of violations of this basic grammar rule on the blogging site that I frequent, I’m going to give you the lowdown on SVA.
Nouns are either singular or plural. (Or collective…I’ll get to that in a minute.) That is, they refer to one thing or to more than one thing. “Bob” is singular. “Men” is plural.
Verbs are also singular or plural. That is, a verb means that only one thing acted/was acted upon, or more than one thing acted/was acted upon. Sometimes, a verb’s singular and plural forms do not change: “Bob ran. Men ran.” Sometimes, a verb’s singular and plural forms do change: “Bob is. Men are.”
With me so far?
A noun must agree with its verb in number. If you are using a singular noun, you must use a singular verb. Ditto for plurals. You don’t say (or write) “Bob are eating.” You say “Bob is eating.” It’s not “Men is happy.” It’s “Men are happy.”
Most people don’t get confused with the simple forms of sentences. The confusing elements come in when you have inverted sentence structure, as in a question, or when you have a non-specific pronoun, or when you have a collective noun. Let’s talk about the collectives first.
Collective nouns group a lot of like things together into a Singular whole. “Everyone” is a singular collective noun. It requires a singular verb: “Everyone is having fun.” “Everyone needs a book.” Some nouns are annoyingly singular or plural, depending on the author’s preference or meaning. “Data” and “media” are two examples. When referring to the media as a whole, you may say “The media is biased.” When referring to multiple groups within the media, you might say “The liberal media are biased.” Avoid these words or always treat them as singulars. It’s easier.
Now let’s talk about non-specific pronouns such as “each” and “all.” You must determine whether the word is being used as a singular or plural. For some, like “each,” that’s easy. “Each” is always singular. “Each of the boys is going home now.” Seem wrong? Many people would say/write “Each of the boys are…” but that is incorrect. “Of the boys” is a plural, but it is not the subject of the sentence; it’s a prepositional phrase modifiying (expanding or explaining) “each.” For other words, like “all,” determining number may be harder. “All” is usually plural: “All of the books are on the shelf.” But it could be singular “All is well.” Again, determining these distinctions takes time and practise.
Finally, don’t let inverted sentence structures confuse you. For example, it’s easy to tell what the verb should be in a sentence like “His opinions are important.” But some folks find it a bit confusing if you turn it into a question: “Is/Are his opinions important?” The easiest way to get it right is to flop the sentence back to regular form. I would never say “his opinions is important” so I know the question should begin with “Are….?”
Every Beach Was Crowded, and Each of Us Drank Something Different
When to use each; when to use every. Sometimes it’s hard to know for sure. I hope these guidelines are helpful.
Each is a singular word that may be used as a pronoun, adverb, or adjective. When functioning as a noun, it always takes a singular verb.
Examples:
as a pronoun: Each of the girls has a different drink. (note: not each of the girls have…) A case could be made that each is actually an ellipsized adjective here, as the sentence is understood to be “each one of the girls,” but I find this to be cumbersome and too confusing to most students. However, remembering that the “one” is there helps students to remember that it is crucial to use a singular verb.
as an adjective, referring to individual items in a collective whole: Do you want me to separate each section of the chapter with a flourish?
as an adverb meaning “apiece”: They got ten tokens each.
Every is a collective adjective, meaning that it groups all members of the set to which it refers into a whole, without exception.
Example: Every child had a balloon.
I hope these explanations clear up the confusion that you may have had about the use of these words.
Lay Your Book Down and Lie Down for a Rest! I Want to Tell You Something.
If it’s hard to read your computer screen lying down, then you may sit up, but please pay attention! The Grammar Guru is having a cow. I’ve been surfing a bit this morning, and I am appalled by the writers, professional and non, who do not understand how to use the verbs lay and lie.
It really isn’t that difficult. The confusion comes from the past tense of lie being lay. It seems to put people’s brains in knots.
Lay is something that you do to something, generally, and it’s generally an active sort of verb. (It means to place or put.) Chickens lay eggs. We lay (set) the table for supper. You can lay your papers on the desk. If you did it in the past, you laid it. If you are doing the acting on an animate object, it can also be correct to use lay, as in “I need to lay the baby on the bed.” or “Lay the unconscious victim on a firm surface to perform CPR.” If it’s in progress, it’s laying, as in “She is laying the table for lunch.”
Lie, in the sense of being horizontal (as opposed to telling falsehoods), is generally something that we do to ourselves, and it’s more passive in nature. We let sleeping dogs lie. We lie down for a nap. If we did it in the past, we lay. For example, He lay down for a nap two hours ago. If we are continuing to do it, we are lying, as in “He’s lying in the bed…been there all morning!”
One trick that works about 99 percent of the time (unless you’re talking about chickens) is to replace lie / lay with the word “place.” For example, “place the books on the table” makes sense, so you’d use lay. But “place down for a nap” is nonsense—use lie.
Hope this helps to clear up the confusion.
He Did WHAT!? WHERE!?
or, Ya Wanna Say That Again More Slowly?
I just heard a radio news announcer deliver a classic goof. All you English teachers put this one in your file of outrageous examples — it doesn’t get any better than this.
To announce that they would be updating the story of a cause celebre in my area, the announcer said, “A former daycare employee accused of molesting children in court today.”
Now that you’ve recovered from your double-take, are you wondering where in heck the judge was, to let the guy do stuff like that in his courtroom?
The problem, of course, is the missing VERB. Rule number one in English grammar: To be a sentence, the string of words MUST contain a noun and a verb that related to each other. “Accused” is NOT the main verb in the announcer’s sentence; it’s part of a clause that describes which former daycare employee we are discussing, and it, therefore, acts as an adjective. (Had the clause been fully stated, that part of the sentence would read “A former daycare employee who is accused of molesting children….” )
Now we get to the sticky part. Had the reporter merely inserted the word “was” or “appeared” between the words “children” and “in,” everything would have been fine. That’s all the sentence needed. Instead, the reporter dropped the verb, and the result is an outstanding example of why you should not ellipsize your speech.
I see this in many of the papers that I review for college and high school students, and even in some of the professional editing jobs that I take on. While there is much to be said for “writing like you speak” (which ought to be “writing as you speak,” but that’s another topic), you may find yourself in trouble if your speech is not grammatically sound. Which most people’s speech is not. So watch those modifiers and verbs, so you don’t have really bizarre things going on in even more bizarre places.
Now, Where Does that Period Go? End Stops and Quotation Marks
Dear Grammar Guru: Please tell us how to punctuate around quotation marks. I get confused, particularly if I have a word or phrase at the end of the sentence that I am setting off with quotations.
This is a common concern to all who wish their writing to reflect knowledge of proper grammar. It’s not really as hard as it seems. Except when you are dealing with the question mark, dash, and exclamation point. Let’s get the easy ones out of the way first. (I will address this question to the American reader/writer. The British do it rather differently.)
The period (full stop) always goes inside quotation marks, even if it is not part of the statement being quoted.
Examples:
Bob said, “I can’t see him from here.”
It’s as the old proverb says: “There’s many a slip twixt cup and lip.”
The comma, likewise, always goes inside quotation marks.
Examples:
“I can’t bear it,” she said.
The teacher assigned the poem “The Highwayman,” which was a great story and easy to read.
The semi-colon and colon always go outside the marks.
Examples:
I was watching “Survivor”; did you see it last week?
I told him my opinion of “Survivor”: an addictive waste of time.
Then there are the question mark (query), the dash, and the exclamation point (bang). All three of these should be placed using logic: If they belong with the information in quotes, they go inside. If not, they go outside.
Examples:
Amy asked, “Did you like the party?”
Where is my copy of “The Highwayman”?Just before she was interrupted, she said, “Bob, what — ”
I can’t find “The Hound of Heaven” — Why?He screamed, “Stop!”
I can’t believe you burned my copy of “Utopia”!
I Couldn’t Care Less….Could You?
Contrary to popular usage and belief, the statement is “I couldn’t care less,” not “I could care less.”
The reason is simple. If one could not care less, then one is as completely un- or dis-interested in something as it is possible to be. It would not be possible for the person to be any less concerned than he is.
If one could care less, then one does have at least some shred of interest in something.
If this seems like splitting semantic hairs, well, I suppose it might be. The problem is one of precision and exactness in communication.
If I ask you, “Do you think our troops should be in Iraq?” and you reply “I could care less!” then I must assume that you have some strong feelings about the matter. If, however, you reply “I couldn’t care less!” then I would assume that the issue never enters your thoughts.
There are those who maintain that “I could care less” actually implies even less interest than “I couldn’t…,” as it could be interpreted to mean “I could care less than I do, but I don’t choose to bother.” This, to me, is mere obfuscation of the issue. Are we going to say what we mean, or not?
Your Dad Went Into a Comma? That’s a Great Trick!
Hey, folks, people cannot go into commas….they go into comas.
A coma is a medical condition characterized by lack of responsiveness to external stimuli. People may be in comas for a few days or for years. Robin Cook has a book called Coma which is quite a good medical thriller.
A comma has nothing at all to do with medicine, but everything to do with grammar. The comma is the tadpole-shaped punctuation mark that is used to set off sections of a sentences or to separate items in a list. This is a comma: ,
I’m thinking that the only way a person could go into a comma would be if there were a pub called “A Comma.” Highly unlikely, but not impossible, I suppose.